Parturient Relations: PR for Dads

Remember these "Five PR's"--the most helpful things you can provide for your partner while she labors...

1. Presence

• Sometimes all she needs is your loving physical presence.
• Be “Rock Steady”—the familiar, strong, soothing rock she can hold on to.
• Be “present” in every way—don’t let your fatigue or fear take your attention away from her emotional and physical needs.
• Do NOT fall asleep (unless she’s asleep).
• Do NOT leave her alone unless she demands it. 
• Some women prefer to be alone while they labor. (But don't go too far!)

2. Protection

• Be a buffer between your wife and the rest of the world. 
• You can’t protect her from the intensity of childbirth or from unexpected complications, but you can protect her personal space and surround her with peace and calm.
• Close doors.
• Turn off/down the lights.
• Take over answering questions so she can keep her energy focused on her hard work.  If someone tries to talk to her mid-contraction, gently ask for them to wait or stand between them and your wife until her contraction is over signaling with your hands for them to wait a moment.
• No matter what happens or how much stress may arise, ensure that she always feels safe and secure.  Remember Jesus Christ’s calm in the storm that frightened his disciples:  “Peace, be still.”

3. Pressure

• One of the most helpful hands-on ways to help with the most difficult contractions is counter-pressure.
• Use your hands to provide firm, strong, steady pressure.  
• Lower back/pelvis
• Double hip squeeze
• Knees while sitting with something against her back
• Hip while side-lying
• Do not let up until the contraction ends!  (You will probably get tired.)

4. Prompts

• Your wife will likely not be in a position to remember all of the ways to increase her comfort, so your job is to prompt her.
• Remember PURRR
• P Position: Is she changing position every half hour?
• U Urination: Is she using the bathroom every hour?  (And drinking lots of fluids?)
• R Relaxation: Is she as relaxed as possible?
• R Respiration: Is she breathing evenly and as calmly as possible?
• R Rest: Is she resting between contractions?

5. Praise

• All of your words must instill her with hope, confidence, peace, comfort, pride, and power.
• Think of it as your job to help her get to the “finish line” without giving up.
• "You are so amazing right now!"
• "I am so proud of you!"
• “You are doing so well!”
• Kissing counts! (Some women find kissing very helpful.)
• When she says, "I can't do it!" reply with, "You are doing it."
• When she’s reached the point when she thinks she can’t do it anymore, that usually means she’s almost finished, so shower her with praise, encouragement, and lots of statements like: “You are so close!”  “You’re almost there!”  “The baby is almost here!”
See also:  Emotional Signposts of Labor