Thursday, March 26, 2009

Long, rambling gestational update

First of all, the baby boy is still snug inside his cozy uterine dreamland. And I'm relieved... perfectly happy to have him take his sweet time... as long as he decides he's ready before my home birth window of opportunity has passed. I have a hunch I'll never see "post-dates" though, based on my history (5 and 9 days early) and my mother's six births (all exactly 6 or 9 days early). I'm pretty sure I had another contraction yesterday evening (as we were getting ready to go to the Jazz/Suns game). It made me a bit nervous. But we made it to the game, to my husband's relief. :-)

Tomorrow morning my midwife, Mary, will come over for our "home visit." She'll be sure she knows how to find the house, check that have everything ready, and drop off some equipment (I think) for the birth. I've been nervous the baby would come before she could make this visit, so it's a relief to be one short day away.

I'm also relieved that my brother and sister-in-law will be arriving for their visit a day or two earlier than I thought. I invited them months ago to come down and be present for the birth. For a while we weren't sure if it was going to work out, but a business trip put them halfway between our locations at just the right time, so they decided they'd continue on afterward and spend a week-ish with us. In case you were wondering... really it will just be my sister-in-law in my immediate birthing vicinity. Here we are making apple dumplings last summer...I'm definitely not letting my brother see the birth (he wouldn't want to anyway... and he's a deep sleeper). ;-) They'll be having their own home birth in a couple of months for their first baby (a girl)! I will have the privilege and honor of being their doula, if I'm able to make it. I'm excited we get to share these beautiful experiences with each other! Random fun fact: my sis-in-law and I were born exactly one day apart. :-)

Yesterday I typed and taped-up lists of important contact info by our phones. My midwives', doulas, and local family and friends' phone numbers as well as the four closest hospitals (including their distance from us). I printed a copy for my purse as well... just in case I'm away from home when labor starts.

A friend of mine asked me yesterday if I was nervous. I said, "Yes and no." For a long time I was nervous about what might go wrong during the birth... would we need to transfer to the hospital? Thanks to God and my husband, those fears have all but disappeared. I really do feel (almost) totally confident that the baby and I will be safe and well. Instead, I'm nervous about other "what ifs" and unknowns... when will labor start? Will it be a convenient time? Will my midwives arrive in time? Will all the people I envision being present actually be there? Will my children be asleep or awake? How will they react if they're awake? And I'm nervous about the pain. I know I can handle it. But it's definitely not easy. And I do still have to get through it. Yes... Busca (the birth junkie) is a little scared of the upcoming labor pain... sorry, but I'm just keeping it real. :-)

Dreams... my 3-year-old told me yesterday that she had a dream in which she woke up and came into my room, and I was in the birth pool, and "Bubby" (the girls' nickname for the baby) came out in the pool. I've been wondering whether I will give birth in the water or not, so her dream intrigued me. I guess we'll see what happens!

I also dreamed I was having contractions at about 2:30 this morning. Then I woke up and wondered if I had really been having some. It kept me awake for a bit as I paid attention to my body and what I was feeling. I was experiencing some dull aching in the area where I usually feel contractions, but I couldn't tell clearly if it was coming and going. Then I fell back to sleep.

I also saw our baby boy in a dream... he had my husband's lips (one of my favorite of my husband's features). I was thrilled. :-)

I'm rambling. A little scatter-brained these days.

Today I will be nesting... washing sheets, folding and putting away laundry, emptying garbages, cleaning toilets, grinding wheat, and burning my birthing soundtrack onto cd among other things. I am kind of thinking I should remove and refold the baby clothes in the dresser upstairs... I have been so focused on preparing for the labor and birth itself that I haven't really been preparing myself for the actual baby we'll be welcoming. There's just something about holding and folding little newborn clothes that makes that baby real and gets the maternal juices flowing...

So... I'm off "to do."

P.S. I just looked over at my baby count-down widget. 16 days?! My heart is pounding.


Fig said...

I know I'm not quite as anxious for this as you are ... but, seriously, it's killing me. I can't wait for the stories, and the pictures, and just to see little Ax in general. KILLING. ME.

Liz Johnson said...

SO EXCITED. I can't wait and I love all of your nesting with the phone numbers and getting everything together. I bet Bubby comes sooner rather than later (I predict in the next week, hee hee). I hope you get everything settled and ready and can just breathe easy and relax until he comes!

Rixa said...

Those pesky anxieties and what-ifs...I totally know what you mean about being worried about how you're going to handle labor. I thought that having gone through it before might help with that, but this next birth is just as unknown as the first one was. And I worry that, having done it once, I'll be overly confident. So basically there's no escaping from the what-ifs no matter how many babies you've had!

Judy Adams said...

Bubby is probably enjoying watching your loving preparations, and so happy to be coming to such a wonderful mom and family.